Oral Sex Positions

“What is your favorite Sexual Position?” After asking almost a hundred single people on the streets of New York City this simple question, we received a resounding answer. Oral Sex! We all love it. Men or women, doesn’t matter, we like to sit back and have our naughty bits serviced. For women the reasons seem to be because a good percentage of the ladies can’t reach climax without the direct clitoral stimulation that comes from oral sex by their man. For the men the enjoyment seems more psychological. Men like the fact that they are in control and have power, they also are just lazy and sometimes the fact that there is no pressure to please their partner can let them relax and simple enjoy the ride." read more

There will alway exist new forms to improve your sexual life.You can start to the basic ones.Im sure that will be great too.

You will have to bear with me as I rave about this superb book by Anne Hooper. THE INTIMATE GUIDE TO SEXUAL FULFILLMENT - PURE SEX. It looks beautiful, like a coffee table book, although this will probably end up on the bedside table for inspiration. For those of you who find it difficult to tell your partner what you'd like, or are looking for something new, exciting and different, all you have to do is point to a specific page. Follow the numbers. I love this book, buy it as a gift for your partner, or better still, for yourself. Great book, great information, get PURE SEX.

Anal sex, bum sex, sex by the back door, the Greek or Italian way, fudge-packing and sodomy - these are some of the terms used to describe anal sex. It involves anal penetration of the anus (or rectum) by an erect penis or even a vibrator, dildo or "butt plug."

Previously regarded as sexual activity primarily practised by male homosexuals, it now appears to be a fairly common, even acceptable, alternative to vaginal intercourse amongst heterosexuals. The most common questions we get on the show relate to anal intercourse - how to do it, is it dangerous, does it hurt, why do people want to do it, is it pleasurable for the female, and how do I talk my partner into trying it?

This is a very controversial and a very sensitive, even taboo, topic amongst many mature people, and I would not want to offend, but anal sex is also high risk behavior and we have an obligation to provide accurate information so younger people can make an informed decision.

First - anatomy. At the lower end of the bowel, there are two distinct circular bands of muscles, sphincters, one is located about an 1 ½" above the other. These clamp down tight to prevent the passage of feces or gas. The mucous membrane lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it can tear quite easily and it does not heal as quickly as the vagina. Because feces, loaded with bacteria, are passing by, any tear is vulnerable to infection.

The vigorous thrusting that may occur during anal intercourse can tear the mucous membrane. This can develop into an anal abscess that can become infected - more about that in a moment. Also, if your partner has any of the sexually transmitted infections (STI's), then you could get infected through the tear. So we are talking about gonorrhea (treatable); venereal warts (treatable if external, difficult if up in the rectum); syphilis (treatable); herpes (treatment, no cure); yeast infection (treatable); and HIV and AIDS (treatment but no cure.) You do not want any of these STI's.

Preferably, you're in a long-term, committed relationship, infection free, and practising SAFER SEX.

But wait, there's more bad news. A “fissure” is a tear up in the rectum can develop into a crack, and become infected.

It can gradually extend out through the wall of the bowel and form a channel across, through and into a nearby organ. That's called a "fistula", and it would allow feces to flow from the rectum into the vagina and out.

Repairing tears, fissures and fistulas is delicate surgery and recovery can be long and painful.

Some doctors will tell you that hemorrhoids (piles) could result from vigorous anal sex, and although I have no medical research, I have heard people say that the rectum "gets sloppy", stretched. I am dubious - if this was true, why doesn't it get sloppy with regular bowel movements? With no definitive research, you do the math.

The best prevention is "don't go there". But if you do decide to try it, you and your partner must talk about it beforehand and agree on these points:

1. Your partner must be very, very gentle, absolutely no forced penetration and no vigorous thrusting.
2. You must use lots and lots of good lubrication, (anal lube, not saliva).
3. Your partner must use a condom…all the time, every time.
4. Your partner must respect "stop". If you say ouch, or it hurts, or No or quit… they must stop immediately.
5. It must be understood, if you do not want to have anal sex again, there will be no pressure, no threats and no pleading. NO means NO.
6. Use a well-lubricated condom without spermicide, either on the sex toy or his penis. Spermicide can irritate the rectum.
7. Never shift from anal sex back to vaginal sex without changing condoms. Feces can end up in the vagina and cause infections.

There are some who really enjoy giving and receiving anal pleasure; some females feel that they have their best orgasms ever; some females oblige simply because their partner really enjoys anal sex; and for other females, it is just gross, embarrassing or disgusting.

For men who have sex with men, it can be very satisfying sex.

As to why the sudden increase in anal sexual activity, again, I have no studies but I suspect anal sex is the last taboo. Females believe that they won't get pregnant with anal sex. This is true, UNLESS ejaculate flows down over her genitals. Young females believe they are still a virgin if they have bum sex. Basically, this is true, but it is semantics. How much is "if you really loved me, you'd prove your love by doing this?" And how much is proof of power and control, dominant v.s. submissive. And of course, some of it is just good, old curiosity. "Try it, you'll like it."

I get very upset when guys ask, "How can I talk my girlfriend into having anal sex?" My reply: "I hope you can't." Absolutely no coercion, promises, manipulation or threats. It must be mutual with a definite understanding of the "bottom line."

As I write this, I realize that some people will be very offended by the whole topic, but knowledge is a survival skill for the new century and I want people to follow the old Planned Parenthood motto; "Know what you are doing, think ahead, plan ahead, and never let sex just happen".

We get so many questions about orgasm, I will try to provide some information about the BIG O.

An orgasm is described as a level of sexual arousal that reaches a peak then subsides leaving the participant feeling elated, relaxed and sexually satisfied. It is difficult to describe an orgasm because it is different for every female. Women generally describe it as a feeling of being so aroused that you are going to explode.

Muscles in your body may go into contraction, your hands tighten up, you may arch your back, your facial expression is intense, your breathing pattern changes to short gasps, your legs tremble, your toes curl under. You may make groaning noises, whimper, some women cry out. Because the sensations are so intense and so different for each woman, it like trying to describe a sneeze.

Are all women capable or reaching orgasm? Yes, unless there is some rare congenital abnormality or extensive genital surgery where nerves have been cut. Some women who have had a stroke can still reach orgasm. Women who are Spinal Cord injured and are paraplegic or quadraplegic will probably not have a genital orgasm but can reach orgasm by stimulating other areas of their bodies. Some women who have severe diabetes may not reach orgasm because of nerve degeneration.

Some women have lovely small ripple orgasms, others have massive orgasms. There are women who have one orgasm after the other as long as the stimulation continues; for others, one is quite enough for them. There is no normal, all are unique. A few women may have singleton orgasms with one partner and multiple orgasms with another partner. Some women experience a headache after orgasm; some start to cry and some start to laugh; this is simply a release of pent-up sexual tension. These reactions quickly pass and you bathe in the afterglow. Be honest about it. Every once in a while, you will have a cataclysmic orgasm. He will know it – he'll have the bruises to show for it. There are no rules when it comes to orgasms.

It is a myth that a female should have an orgasm every time she has sex. There are times when it just will not happen, if she feels fat or ugly, afraid that she might get pregnant or a disease, she may be tired, stressed, angry at her partner, preoccupied with family or finances etc. She may be uncomfortable, even in pain.

There will be times when all systems are GO and she does not have an orgasm. The sex was good, she is fine, satisfied, happy and contented. She was very aroused then just slid over the top and into the "refractory period" but she is still purring.

Here is where your partner enters the scene. Do not ask "DIDJA COME?" This puts pressure on her to have an orgasm to convince you that you are a good lover and capable of satisfying her. She may be tempted to fake orgasm just to have you believe that you are that good. Faking orgasm is destructive to a relationship that is based on honesty and trust. If your partner is dishonest, the trust level is shattered and that can be very damaging to a relationship.

Ladies, be honest, "No, I didn't have an orgasm but you are great, I feel wonderful, WOW, you are da man." Guys, accept that.

HOW TO HAVE AN ORGASM for FEMALES

Most women reach their first orgasm all by themselves. Few things you have to do before you begin. First, you have to:

• 1. Become comfortable with your own body.
• 2. Look at the messages you got as a kid about "self pleasuring"(masturbation). Bad, dirty, dangerous?
• 3. Give yourself permission to fantasize about sex. Read some sex stories, romance pocket book, allow yourself to get turned on. You can't masturbate without fantasy. Read our web site on female masturbation.
• 4. Give yourself permission to stimulate yourself, Lear what pleasures you, all by yourself.
• 5. Share that information with your partner, guide your partner so he can make the moves that are pleasurable for you
• 6.There are a few basics you need to know. For most females, penis size is not important. Bigger is not better. Most women do not reach orgasm with sexual intercourse. Most women reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation, either manual, oral-genital contact or a vibrator.

Here are a few great books that will be helpful: 'The Big Book of Masturbation' from Down There Press; 'The Good Orgasm Guide' by Kate Taylor; 'Self Love and Orgasm' and 'Sex For One', both by Betty Dobson; 'Turn Ons, Pleasing Yourself While You Please Your Lover' by Dr. Lonnie Barbach; 'Orgasms' by Tara Barker; 'For Yourself' by Dr. Lonnie Barbach; 'Understanding the G-spot' by Donald Hicks; and 'Great Sex' by Anne Hooper.

Sex is an interesting subject for us to talk about... don't you think? ehehehehehe

Thanks for your comments!

The first principle behind the techniques and suggestions listed below is the man’s ability to know his own body. By understanding how his body works and how his excitement rises, he should be able to learn how to pace himself better. It is key to know when to slow down to allow your excitement to drop enough so that you can “re-group” and then pick up the pace again. The second principle has to do with decreasing the sensitivity of the penis. By decreasing the sensitivity, it will take more stimulation to achieve the excitement necessary for climax. The following techniques and suggestions should help boost his sexual stamina, but they are not miracle cures, it will take patience and the right attitude to make things better.

Start & Stop Technique

The primary principle of this technique is to stimulate the penis until near ejaculation, and then stop stimulating to allow the level of excitement to drop. This exercise can be performed alone, or with a partner, and should be repeated 3 to 5 times per session. After 2-6 weeks of using this technique you should notice an improvement in your sexual stamina and will eventually not even have to use it to outlast your partner.

Squeeze Technique

Right before you feel you are about to ejaculate, approximately three or four strokes away, stop stimulating and squeeze the base of your penis by wrapping your thumb and index finger around it. Apply firm pressure, focusing on the urethra, the tube running along the underside of the penis. This lessens the tension and holds back the ejaculatory response. Be sure to apply pressure a few strokes before ejaculating … if you wait too long, it may be too late! You should be able to apply this technique anywhere along the shaft of the penis, as long as it squeezes the urethra.

Regular Masturbation

A great method for boosting sexual stamina and releasing sexual tension is regular masturbation. By masturbating more often, you can train yourself to become more used to the stimulation. As you get more and more used to it, it should start taking you progressively longer to climax.

Sex Toys

Following the same line of logic as in “Regular Masturbation” above, you can use sex toys to help you become more “immune” to the pleasure. Sex simulators are recommended over regular vibrators, but both should work. The Robo Suck 2 is a great toy that can bring the best of men to their knees; it sucks, strokes, and vibrates all at once. If the $65 (USD) price tag is a little too much, have a look at our toy store to find a product that fits your budget better.

I want you to take a look at a few blogs I find interesting...
They are:

http://sexaddicted.diaryland.com

http://blogia.com/ellendthesex/

http://22blog.com/littlemehere/